October Reflection

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Oh what a month October was. They should call it…O(verwhelming)ctober…?

So many things were happening one right after another.

Looking back at it all now, I can let out a sigh of relief.

The bright side of tough periods of time is that you learn from it and improve yourself!

The toughest part of the month were moments where I felt overwhelmed and these feelings controlled my thoughts about the support I was receiving and wasn’t receiving.

After having a conversation about that with colleagues and my Program Manager and reflecting more on what I could’ve done differently, a common theme was reappearing.

That theme is me not asking for that support. It seems pretty simple, right? If you need support, you just ask for it. Well, for some people, especially myself, it’s not that simple. It’s easier said than done.

I had to think more about why the act of asking for help is not so simple and I think I got down to the root of it.

In the context of work, I think I hold back on asking for support because:

  1. I don’t want to seem weak.
  2. I don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings.

I think by asking for support, it may seem like I’m weak and that I’m not capable of completing a task or handling work that I’ve been held responsible for. With this, I’ve truly tested my limits and discovered my extreme challenge zones. I’ve seen how far I can push myself in saying “yes” to several things and offering to do things in order for them to be done a certain way. This has caused me to not be my best self. Instead of doing these things, I need to truly know my work capacity. What can I handle right now? I need to know who I can delegate tasks to and trust that it can be done in a way that is just as good as I would’ve done, if not, better. Asking for support won’t make me seem weak. If anything, it will show strength. It will show that I am advocating for myself and for what I care enough about to ask for support with.

I think by asking for support, it may seem like I’m offending the work of someone else. I’m thinking someone else may feel like I am not appreciating the support they may feel like they are already providing me. I don’t want to seem like I don’t value the support I’m already receiving. What I need to start thinking is that they don’t know anything unless you let them know. Let them know that I appreciate them and the support they are providing and hope that they can continue to provide support in an additional way. As long as I am coming from a good place and have positive intentions, I should not feel bad about asking for support in any way.

A lot of what may stand and has stood in my way is just my mind and what thoughts I feed it. Asking for support can and will show strength and compassion. That’s what I need to keep in mind.

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